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1.       Annoying girlfriends would send you a ‘please call me’ text minutes after you sent them call credit


2.    Annoying girlfriend would reply you like this,What is wrong with you? Nothing. Is there something wrong with you? Nothing. Are you alright? I don’t know. What do you want? Nothing. It’s not fair what you are doing; ok. Say something; ok. Should I leave? I don’t know. You are driving me crazy; whatever. What am I not doing? Nothing. What should I do? Nothing. (Are these questions and answers annoying you already? I don’t know)


3.   Annoying girlfriends would keep telling you about their exes and how other guys are asking them out, they be like ‘if it was my ex, he wouldn’t do that’  ‘you talk and act like my ex’  ‘my ex never  ex can do this better’


4.   Annoying girlfriends would give you 29 missed calls and counting while you are in a meeting with your boss giving a presentation and don’t you dare busy the call. My advice, just silence it.


5.   Annoying girlfriends snore (if you are expecting an essay on this, sorry…., however here is an audio clip    groooooooongruuuuuuungroooongruuuuun…………,)


6.  Annoying girlfriends would nag, then they’ll tell you ‘you know I don’t want to nag’ in a nagging way and when you try to explain to them that they are nagging already, they would nag at you to stop telling them that they are nagging and when you even keep quiet, they’ll nag about how you are not listening to their nagging which to them is not really nagging. At this point, it’s better to just kill yourself.


7.   Annoying girlfriends would not make any sound during sex. No matter what you do, no matter how you do it, no matter what you take to be able to do it more than how you were doing it, they would still keep quite. As quite as a graveyard.


8.   Annoying girlfriends want to share everything equally except your salary and sharwarma. ‘I cook the food, you wash the plates’ ‘if I sweep the floor, you’ll mop it’  ‘it’s my birthday, you’ll pay for the cake, canopy, chairs and I’ll invite my friends) 


9.   Annoying girlfriends would tell you about what her girlfriend’s boyfriends are doing for them not in a direct way though, and that’s the more reason it’s really annoying because you already know what she’s trying to do.

10.  Annoying girlfriends are always there for you, with you and beside you even when you want so badly to be alone, they are ALWAYS there. You are watching Arsenal vs Chelsea, she is there eying your friends; you are going to the barbing saloon, she’ll meet you there; you perhaps went somewhere without telling her, my guy, she’ll find you out; and you traveled out of Nigeria?  Just pray she has no visa.



11.  Annoying girlfriends don’t care how sweet you were yesterday. By yesterday, I do not mean ‘two months ago yesterday’ I mean it in the literal sense. If you so much as ignore her today, then to hell with how sweet you were yesterday. You’ll begin to hear questions like , ‘do you still love me? Is it that girl? , I know you no longer love me, is it because I am getting fat? And You are yet to reply any of her questions and messages because obviously, you’ve been busy. 


12.  Annoying girlfriends would cheat on you then say ‘I don’t know how it happened’ It’s not the cheating that’s annoying, it’s the excuse.  Then it comes to that point when you just begin to repeat it to yourself, ‘You don’t know how it happened?  How can you tell me you don’t know how it happened? At this stage it’s best you just chill and before you strangle someone’s daughter let me just answer the question for you. You see, she was flying across his bedroom like the witch that she is , then she hit a standing fan and magically fell on his dick. Hope that helps?

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