Fine, I understand that being a female in Nigeria is not as
easy as it is for you as being a man in Nigeria is for me and don’t even open
that your lip stick studded mouth to tell me that you are having it far worst
than I am or any man at all.
I understand that you ladies are raped, insulted, abused,
and all other man’s inhumanity to man and I deeply regret this but you ladies
should stop acting like you are the only victims here. And you need to think
twice before you use that next harshtag. This is why.
First, the use of a harsh tag has never and would never be a
call to action, maybe in other parts of the world it is, but not in Nigeria, I repeat,
not in Nigeria. And for what it is, most of this harsh tag typed statuses are
just being exaggerated. Now, I am not saying there are no rape cases or abuses
in Nigeria, I am saying that in your bid to get online attention, retweets and
shares most of you have resorted to exaggerating these things and even claiming
that it happened to you when in fact it only happened to someone you barely
knew. Well, I know what your argument would be…., ‘as long as it happened to a
lady like me then it happened’. Okay,
okay, okay, fine, I agree with you,
before you start to scratch me with your fixed finger nails and biting me like
you auditioned for the first vampire film in Nigeria, just keep reading.
So if I may ask, apart from using harsh tags to tell that
bitter tales and how you have moved on or almost moved on(and I’ll be really
happy for you if you have) what else have you done? I want you to pause for a
moment, take a deep breath and tell me what you did or have done to make sure
this phenomenon is gone for good. Well, let me guess, NOTHING!!! Absolutely
nothing. If you are really bitter about this things then rise up and do
something and stop with the harsh tag already,,, these are just 2 things you
can do.
1.
SPEAK UP:
So 13 years ago an uncle raped you or your father molested you or that neighbor
and now, you still smile at them like nothing happened, you even buy your
father gift on father’s day while that experience eat at you all because you don’t
want to spoil your family’s happiness and now you can see him looking at your
last born just the same way he looked at you 13 years ago, my dear call a
family meeting, buy kolanuts if you are in the mood for eating and tell them
that tale, tell them how it happened and how you felt and let the whole family
go in chaos just like your life did, for its in chaos that we find peace. My
guess is the family members that need to know are not on twitter, but if you
feel you cannot speak up then shut up, I mean shut up everywhere, on social
media too. Read this if you need inspiration to speak up
Note that speaking up involves reporting
rape cases too.
2.
START A COMMUNITY: The power of a scattered group of ladies
dumping harsh tags upon harsh tags on twitter is far small compared to what you
can achieve if you start a small group of ladies who share similar experiences,
imagine what that can do for you and your cause. Imagine how brutally you can
deal with men who think one of the ways to get a lady is to force himself into
her thighs. And by starting, I mean gathering in an enclosed area where you can
see walls physically and not a facebook group where half the members are males
who have at one time raped someone.
We can go on arguing and arguing for days about how you
ladies contribute to the rape culture and no matter what I say you would never
accept any of my arguments but not to worry I am not really bothered about who
wins the argument when there are cracked faces, broken noses and bruised thighs
to save.
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